Building friendships is essential for a child’s emotional and social growth. Kids develop critical skills like empathy, communication, and conflict resolution through these connections. Without these abilities, children may face challenges like isolation or rejection, which can impact mental health and self-esteem. The good news is these skills can be taught and practiced through simple activities like role-playing, cooperative games, and structured programs.
Key skills every child needs include:
- Empathy: Recognizing and responding to others’ emotions.
- Clear Communication: Balancing speaking and listening effectively.
- Conflict Resolution: Handling disagreements calmly and constructively.
- Cooperation and Sharing: Working together and taking turns.
- Respecting Boundaries: Understanding personal and social limits.
Parents, educators, and caregivers play a vital role by modeling these behaviors and encouraging practice in daily life. Tools like role-playing, social stories, and buddy systems can help children learn in a safe, supportive way. Programs like Friendship Circle and group activities like team games or creative projects also provide opportunities to practice these skills.
Teaching kids how to build and maintain friendships isn’t just about making friends today – it’s about preparing them for a lifetime of meaningful relationships.
Friendship Skills for Kids: A Lesson about How to Make Friends
Core Friendship Skills Every Child Needs
Learning how to connect with others is an essential part of growing up. By developing certain social skills, children can lay the groundwork for forming strong, supportive friendships. Here are five key skills that help kids build meaningful relationships.
Empathy
Empathy is all about understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings. It’s a cornerstone of positive relationships. Teaching empathy starts with helping kids recognize emotions in others and then showing them how to respond thoughtfully. This is especially important for children with special needs, who may need extra guidance in this area.
Kids can practice empathy in everyday moments. For instance, if a friend accidentally drops their lunch, an empathetic child might help clean up or share their own food. On the playground, they might notice someone feeling left out and invite them to join the fun.
Activities like "Emotion Charades" are a great way to help kids identify and interpret emotions. Role-playing scenarios can also be effective, such as acting out how to welcome a new student who feels nervous. These exercises encourage kids to step into someone else’s shoes and respond with care.
Once children understand others’ emotions, the next step is learning how to express their own thoughts and feelings clearly.
Clear Communication
Being able to communicate effectively means not only expressing yourself but also truly listening to others. This involves understanding words, tone, and body language. Teaching kids to balance speaking and listening helps them connect better with their peers.
Active listening is a big part of this skill. Adults can model it by giving kids their full attention and using phrases that show they’re engaged. Encouraging children to ask questions and show interest in others’ answers builds stronger connections. As one expert puts it, kids should “ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions”.
Eye contact is another simple but powerful way to show engagement. Additionally, teaching kids to use "I" statements, like “I feel upset when I’m left out,” can help them express emotions without making others feel defensive.
Conflict Resolution
Disagreements are a natural part of any friendship, and kids need tools to handle them constructively. Instead of avoiding conflict, they can learn to approach it calmly and thoughtfully, turning challenges into opportunities for growth.
"As caregivers we often want to shield or hide our children from uncomfortable experiences, yet conflict is simply a part of life. Rather than trying to dodge it, addressing it and teaching your child to navigate it intentionally provides amazing skills that span a lifetime."
– Brittney Nathan, Lead Program Development Specialist at Sanford fit
Teaching kids to pause and collect themselves before addressing a disagreement is a good starting point. Tools like feelings charts or stoplight systems can help them identify their emotions and approach conflicts more calmly.
Dr. Lee’s “Problem-solving baseball” offers a playful way to teach resolution: pitch the problem, explore solutions, and choose the best one together. The process includes listening to everyone’s perspective, defining the issue, brainstorming solutions, and deciding on the best approach as a team.
Once conflicts are resolved, kids can focus on working together to strengthen their friendships.
Cooperation and Sharing
Friendships thrive when kids learn how to work together and share. These skills are essential for group activities, whether in the classroom or on the playground.
Taking turns is a simple way to practice cooperation. Games like “Red Light, Green Light” or “Simon Says” make it fun while encouraging kids to listen and follow directions. Sharing goes beyond toys – it includes attention, space, and opportunities. By participating in cooperative activities, children learn that teamwork often leads to better results and helps build trust and mutual respect.
Respecting Boundaries
Healthy friendships require an understanding of boundaries. Kids need to recognize that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to physical touch, personal space, and social interactions.
Physical boundaries involve respecting others’ personal space, while emotional boundaries mean understanding when a friend needs time to process their feelings. Social boundaries teach kids that not every activity has to include everyone.
Helping kids respect boundaries not only strengthens their relationships but also boosts their confidence in setting their own limits and expressing their needs.
"Parents can teach their children skills that they will use in every personal and professional relationship they have for the rest of their lives. If you want your child to be an adult who is considerate and inclusive of others, reward them for being so now."
– Mitch Prinstein, PhD, chief science officer at APA
How to Teach Friendship Skills
Helping kids learn friendship skills takes consistent practice. Through structured activities and everyday interactions, children can develop the social tools they need to connect with others in meaningful ways.
Role-Playing and Social Scenarios
Role-playing gives kids a safe environment to explore different social situations. This method encourages the development of empathy, communication, and conflict resolution skills. Whether using dolls, action figures, or simply acting out roles, children can work through a variety of scenarios to better understand social dynamics. The goal is to create these situations together and discuss what they’ve learned.
Through role-playing, kids can practice important skills like starting conversations, resolving disagreements, managing emotions, sharing, taking turns, and navigating group settings . It’s also a great way to practice giving compliments or making plans with friends.
To build on this, pairing kids with peers provides real-time opportunities for social learning.
Buddy Systems and Peer Pairing
Pairing children with peers is a natural way to encourage friendships, especially for kids who might need extra social support. This method has proven particularly effective for children with special needs, as it offers consistent social modeling. For example, Piscataway Public Schools in New Jersey runs a successful peer buddy program.
"The use of general education peer buddies coming into the special education classroom can help bridge the gap by providing role models and structured opportunities for language, play, and social skills." – Jacqueline Dobres, MS, OTR/L, BCBA & Lizette Posada, MEd, Piscataway Public Schools
This program involves carefully selecting peer buddies through interviews conducted by a team that includes counselors and behavior specialists. Once chosen, the buddies receive training in autism awareness, communication methods, and reinforcement techniques. Assigning specific roles, like greeter or consistent buddy, ensures regular interaction. Goals are tailored for both groups: children with special needs work on skills like responding to greetings, while peer buddies focus on actions like initiating greetings and offering encouragement.
"Reverse inclusion can provide students with autism a familiar environment to begin interactions with their typically developing peers which may then lead to further opportunities for inclusion in the future." – Jacqueline Dobres, MS, OTR/L, BCBA & Lizette Posada, MEd, Piscataway Public Schools
This approach has yielded noticeable benefits, such as greater disability awareness among students, stronger social-emotional skills for peer buddies, and improved role modeling for children with special needs.
To further support social learning, visual aids can simplify complex concepts.
Social Stories and Visual Supports
Social stories and visual supports help break down abstract social ideas into more understandable pieces. Social stories are short narratives that explain social situations, behaviors, and expectations. Visual supports, like pictures, objects, or written words, assist with understanding, communication, and preparing for events. Together, these tools help boost communication skills, social awareness, and confidence, while also reducing anxiety.
To create effective social stories, use engaging visuals – photos, drawings, or illustrations – to grab the child’s attention. Share these stories when the child is calm and ready to learn, and reinforce the lessons with activities like role-playing. For instance, a social story preparing a child for a party might say:
"The music at the party will be loud. That’s because some children like that and it makes them want to dance. It’s okay if you don’t want to dance. If the music is too loud, you can wear your headphones."
Simple tools like "First, Then" cards – featuring photos, line drawings, or text – help kids understand the sequence of social interactions. These supports are useful for transitioning between activities, navigating daily social events, and handling new situations with friends. The key is to tailor the visuals to the child’s developmental stage and learning preferences.
Programs and Activities That Build Friendship Skills
Community-based programs and structured activities give children the chance to practice social skills in supportive settings. These spaces create consistent opportunities for meaningful interactions, helping kids build confidence in their ability to connect with others. Let’s dive into specific programs and activities that turn these spaces into hands-on experiences for developing friendship skills.
Friendship Circle Programs
Friendship Circle operates 82 chapters worldwide, offering over 40 specialized programs aimed at enhancing social, physical, and cognitive skills for children and families with special needs. These programs are open to families of all ages and religious backgrounds, fostering inclusive environments where genuine friendships can grow.
The organization focuses on support, friendship, and inclusion through recreational, social, educational, and vocational activities. Families typically begin with an intake meeting to discuss their child’s specific needs and explore available programs.
For example, the Friendship Circle of Cleveland serves individuals with disabilities aged 2–19 through sensory-friendly activities. Their offerings include social groups, sports, camps, and life skills classes, ensuring a variety of options that cater to different interests and developmental levels. These programs create structured yet relaxed settings where children can practice empathy, communication, and cooperation, helping them grow socially while enjoying themselves.
Group Activities and Cooperative Games
Cooperative group games are another way to reinforce social skills. These activities teach kids that working together often produces better results than competing. They emphasize teamwork, communication, and problem-solving, all while keeping things engaging.
- Emotion Charades: A fun way for kids to learn how to read facial expressions and emotions.
- Improvisational Stories: Encourages creativity as kids build stories together using picture or word cards, learning to collaborate and build on each other’s ideas.
- Group Jump Rope: Promotes teamwork as children jump together while adults swing the rope, requiring coordination and mutual support.
- Hula Hoop Challenge: Kids hold hands in a circle and pass a hula hoop around their bodies without letting go, fostering teamwork and helping behaviors.
More complex activities, like LEGO Copycat, involve groups of three working to replicate a LEGO model using verbal instructions, testing communication, memory, and observation skills. Escape Room games challenge kids to solve puzzles together, encouraging adaptability and teamwork in a fun, high-energy setting. Other activities like Tower Building and Pretend Play offer opportunities to practice turn-taking, strategic thinking, and conflict resolution in creative, hands-on ways.
Community Engagement Opportunities
Real-world experiences allow kids to practice friendship skills in natural settings while contributing to their communities. These activities help reduce stigma and promote understanding by demonstrating that disability is simply one part of human diversity.
For example, North Texas Performing Arts (NTPA) runs the Starcatchers program, which provides therapeutic arts experiences for performers with disabilities. Participants explore drama, music, dance, and visual arts, with opportunities ranging from large theater productions to smaller art classes. Performance Partners assist actors with learning lines and stage cues, creating opportunities for self-advocacy and community connection.
Sports programs also offer structured social interaction. Special Olympics Texas provides year-round training and competition for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. Similarly, The Miracle League DFW enables children with disabilities to enjoy baseball in supportive, inclusive environments.
Nature-based programs, like those at River Legacy Living Science Center, combine outdoor learning with social interaction, offering a less intimidating alternative to traditional classroom settings. Informal outings to disability-friendly cafes or parks provide additional opportunities for kids to practice social skills in a relaxed, welcoming environment.
To discover these opportunities, connect with local organizations and support groups early on. Visiting schools, therapy centers, and recreational programs can help you find the right fit for your child’s needs and interests. Online forums and community groups, like local Facebook pages, are also great resources for advice and referrals.
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Tools and Resources for Parents and Educators
Helping kids develop friendship skills doesn’t have to be overwhelming. With the right tools, parents and educators can guide children in building empathy, communication, and cooperation. Books, activities, and simple tracking methods offer structured ways to practice these skills in everyday life. Below, we explore some practical resources designed to support this journey.
Recommended Books on Friendship and Empathy
Books are a powerful way to teach kids about understanding others and navigating relationships. Through engaging stories, children can step into someone else’s shoes and learn valuable lessons about kindness, acceptance, and connection. As Dr. Seuss wisely said:
"A person’s a person, no matter how small." – Dr. Seuss
Here are a few standout titles that focus on friendship and empathy:
- My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete and Ryan Elizabeth Peete: This story highlights the abilities of a child with autism, teaching lessons about patience, love, and family.
- Just Ask!: Be Different, Be Brave, Be You by Sonia Sotomayor: Encourages kids to embrace differences and learn about others with curiosity and respect.
- We’re All Wonders by R.J. Palacio: A reminder to look beyond appearances and appreciate the person inside.
- The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld: A sweet story about the importance of listening as the first step to understanding others.
- Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña: Shows that everyone has their own unique story, encouraging an open-minded approach to new friendships.
- Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson: A moving tale about kindness, compassion, and the impact of our actions.
Reading these stories together creates natural moments for discussions about friendship, empathy, and how to treat others with kindness. They also provide a gentle way to address questions about differences and disabilities.
Hands-On Activities for Skill Building
Children learn best through play, and hands-on activities make practicing social skills fun and memorable. Incorporating these activities into daily routines can help reinforce key lessons.
- Listening and communication activities: Games like recording and identifying sounds build active listening skills, while emotion charades teach kids to recognize and express feelings.
- Empathy exercises: A "We Care Center" with items like Band-Aids and tissues encourages kids to comfort others. Empathy maps, where children brainstorm what someone might feel, think, say, and do in a situation, deepen their understanding of emotions.
- Sharing and cooperation games: Using timers for taking turns with toys or art supplies teaches patience. Collaborative building games, like constructing a block tower, promote teamwork and communication.
- Creative projects: Making friendship bracelets or decorating friendship rocks gives kids a tangible way to express qualities of a good friend. Friendship flowers, where each petal represents a positive trait, are another fun option.
- Group activities: Games like the friendship yarn circle – where kids toss a ball of yarn and share compliments – highlight the importance of kindness. Blindfold obstacle courses and scavenger hunts encourage teamwork and communication.
These activities not only teach social skills but also create opportunities for kids to bond and have fun together.
Tracking Progress and Celebrating Growth
Monitoring progress helps parents and educators see what’s working and where kids might need extra support. Simple methods can make growth visible and motivate children to keep improving.
- Observation checklists: Track behaviors like sharing, resolving conflicts, or including others to see how social skills develop over time.
- Friendship journals: Encourage kids to draw or write about positive social experiences, challenges, or new friendships.
- Celebration rituals: Host a friendship awards ceremony where kids recognize each other’s acts of kindness with certificates or ribbons. Compliment circles, where children exchange genuine compliments, are another way to celebrate positive interactions.
- Progress charts: Visual tools can track specific goals like "helped a friend" or "shared without being asked." Seeing their progress motivates kids and builds confidence.
Family or classroom discussions are also valuable for reflecting on challenges and celebrating successes. These conversations reinforce the idea that building friendships is a skill that grows with practice and patience.
Common Challenges in Building Friendship Skills
Developing friendship skills isn’t always easy. Kids often encounter real-life hurdles that can make forming connections feel daunting or even out of reach. Understanding these challenges can help parents and educators step in with the right kind of support when it’s most needed.
Handling Rejection and Building Resilience
Social setbacks – like being excluded, turned down for a playdate, or dealing with unkind remarks – can really shake a child’s confidence. These moments might discourage them from trying again, but they’re also opportunities to build resilience.
Instead of rushing to fix the problem, it’s important to help kids process their emotions. As the Friendometry Editorial Team puts it:
"The best thing we can do is guide them through it with love, wisdom, and reassurance. Rejection is an inevitable part of life, and helping your child navigate these experiences is crucial for building their resilience and self-esteem."
Start by acknowledging their feelings. Even a simple, “That must have been really disappointing,” can show them that their emotions matter. From there, help them understand that rejection is just an experience – it doesn’t define who they are. Katherine Prudente, RDT, LCAT, explains:
"When kids feel validated and understood, it helps them build a sense of self. It also normalizes their feelings and builds up what I like to call ‘psychic muscle.’"
Encouraging activities like drawing, spending time outside, or talking with a trusted friend can also help them bounce back. Modeling your own healthy ways of handling setbacks can teach them that tough emotions don’t last forever and can be managed. Over time, they’ll begin to see that their worth isn’t tied to others’ acceptance but comes from their character and values.
Adapting Strategies for Different Needs
Every child is unique, and some may need extra support to master social skills. Kids with developmental challenges, ADHD, or autism spectrum disorder, for example, often benefit from strategies tailored to their specific needs.
For children who communicate differently, tools like picture cards, voice-output devices, or sign language can make a big difference. Dr. Stephanie Lee, PsyD, from the Child Mind Institute, highlights the importance of meeting kids where they are:
"Parents with children who have social skills deficits need to remember that even if something seems obvious, it may not be obvious for their kids."
For kids with sensory sensitivities, small adjustments can create a more comfortable environment. Things like softer lighting, quiet spaces with cushions, and visual schedules or timers can help make transitions smoother. Social stories – short narratives paired with pictures – can also prepare children for everyday interactions by showing how conversations or situations might unfold.
Children with mobility challenges can benefit when peers are taught how to engage inclusively. Structured, low-pressure activities give all kids a chance to practice interacting in a way that feels safe and supportive. Meanwhile, focusing on a child’s strengths – whether through sports, theater, art, or music – can open doors to meaningful friendships built around shared interests.
Providing Consistent Support
Learning how to build and maintain friendships isn’t something kids figure out overnight – it takes time, practice, and consistent encouragement.
Families play a huge role in this process. Spending quality time together, modeling empathy, and reinforcing positive social habits can help kids develop the skills they need. Schools are also key players. Teachers can create opportunities for peer interaction through group projects, lunchtime activities, or after-school clubs. These settings encourage kids to connect in a structured, supportive way.
Collaboration between parents, educators, and therapists can bring everything together. When everyone is on the same page about social expectations, kids receive a clear and unified message. Promoting a culture that values diverse friendships – by sharing stories, celebrating differences, and inviting guest speakers – helps children see the beauty in all kinds of connections.
Conclusion: Building a Foundation for Lifelong Friendships
The friendships kids form today do more than fill their social calendars – they set the stage for relationships that can last a lifetime. By learning empathy, communication, and conflict resolution early, children gain more than social ease; they develop life skills that will carry them well into adulthood. These skills don’t just enrich their social lives – they also contribute to long-term health and well-being.
Studies reveal that supportive friendships during adolescence are linked to healthier psychosocial functioning later in life. Additionally, strong social connections are known to reduce the risks of chronic illnesses and even mortality.
The importance of early social bonds can’t be overstated. When kids practice sharing, listening, and showing empathy, they’re not just learning how to make friends – they’re boosting their language abilities, building self-esteem, and enhancing emotional intelligence. They’re also learning values like trust, fairness, and compassion.
Adults play a crucial role in this process. Parents, teachers, and caregivers act as role models, demonstrating inclusivity and empathy while creating opportunities for children to interact socially. These positive adult relationships teach kids how to build healthy peer connections. By fostering inclusive behaviors and encouraging empathy, adults equip children with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of social interactions.
Community programs also play a part in nurturing these skills. Initiatives like Friendship Circle bring people together to support the development of meaningful connections. By focusing on abilities rather than limitations, these programs help children form strong bonds while emphasizing honesty, optimism, and commitment.
Janice Fialka, a parent, highlights the importance of such efforts:
"Developing community for your child with a Circle of Friends has been absolutely necessary for his growth and for establishing an inclusive community environment".
Of course, the journey to building solid friendships isn’t always smooth. Kids will face challenges like rejection and differing social needs. But with consistent support and guidance, every child has the potential to form lasting connections.
Interestingly, research suggests that most people maintain three to five close friends, emphasizing that quality matters far more than quantity. By focusing on practical activities and consistent encouragement, we can help children build the resilience and social skills needed for meaningful relationships. Supporting them now means preparing them for a lifetime of friendships that will bring joy, strength, and comfort through life’s ups and downs.
"Hold a true friend with both hands!"
FAQs
How can parents and teachers teach children important friendship skills by example?
Parents and teachers play a key role in teaching kids how to build friendships by showing positive and respectful behavior in their own interactions. By modeling kindness, practicing active listening, and showing empathy, adults can set a powerful example. When children see calm conflict resolution or hear genuine compliments, they pick up on these behaviors and learn how to apply them in their own relationships.
Another effective approach is using role-playing activities or storytelling to explore social situations. Tools like puppets or imaginative scenarios can help kids understand how to navigate friendships. And when children demonstrate good social skills, offering praise not only reinforces those actions but also boosts their confidence in connecting with others.
How can I help my child with special needs build empathy and social skills?
Helping children with special needs grow their empathy and social skills often starts with practical, hands-on strategies. One effective method is encouraging structured play and group activities. These settings naturally teach kids about patience, sharing, and working as a team. Another helpful approach is role-playing everyday social situations. This lets children practice seeing things from someone else’s perspective while building confidence in how they interact with others.
It’s also important to help kids understand their own emotions. Talk openly about feelings and guide them in identifying and naming what they’re experiencing. By modeling empathetic behavior yourself, you create an environment where they feel safe expressing emotions and learning to connect with those around them. Tailoring these strategies to fit each child’s unique needs can help them develop the skills to build meaningful relationships.
How does Friendship Circle help children develop the skills to build strong friendships?
Friendship Circle focuses on helping children build important friendship skills by offering inclusive spaces where kids of all abilities can come together and grow. Through well-planned activities, mentorship opportunities, and community events, children get the chance to develop essential social skills like empathy, communication, and teamwork in a nurturing setting.
These programs also aim to boost confidence while giving kids real-world experiences to practice forming and maintaining friendships, paving the way for meaningful and lasting relationships.